LONELINESS

Can you recollect the last time, when you asked your mom or dad, “Are you feeling lonely?” Chances are that, they may be feeling lonely! You may wonder why, especially, if they are living with you. You are there to look after them, your spouse and kids are around them to help them to make their life merrier. They seem to be happy. How is it possible, you may think? The fact is, when you people are among them, they are happy. What about the time, when you are away? You may reason the question by thinking, both my parents are alive. If only one is alive or is around here, the chances are that they may feel lonely. Apart from the occasional disagreements, they are getting along very well and happily married for the last so many years, with children well settled in life and with proud grandchildren. Then, how can it be?

Did you ever really try to figure out, what they do, when you are away, busy attending your daily chores? Typically, they may be doing the following: 1. Reading news paper/s, 2. Reading religious or other book/s, 3. Watching TV, 4. Browsing the internet, 5. Listening to music, 6. Praying, 7. Talking to each other, 8. Going for a walk, 9. Working-out if they are fitness conscious, 10. Cooking, 11. Washing clothes, 12. House-keeping, 13. Talking over phone with some of their relatives or friends,  14. Visiting their doctor, dentist, counselor or therapist, 15. Shopping, 16. Visiting nearby religious place/s, 17. Visiting a restaurant or a bar, 18. Doing social visits, 19. Attending some classes, seminars, workshops, concerts or live-shows, 20. Visiting exhibitions, 21. Visiting public places of interest, and in many other ways of their own choices. It varies daily and from person to person.

It is highly unlikely that both of them share many common interests among them! That being the case, the scope of joint activities, gets limited. So one tends to join or follow the other in an attempt to please or oblige, but presence will be limited in the physical form and the mind wanders which takes them to a different world of their own. This fuels loneliness!

So for a moment, imagine the case, if your parents are away from you and not with any of your sibling, if you have any. Or, if unfortunately one of your parents is no more, doesn’t matter, if s/he is with you or with your sibling or away. How long they were together in life? How they have supported each other in their difficult times? It is not necessary that they should have been made for each other. But the emotional attachment between them can’t be stated in mere words! Once you miss a life-partner, can’t figure out on which roller-coaster ride your mind will follow! In that case for being sane, you will have to pull all your wits together in a logical fashion coupled with sound reasoning. You will understand and appreciate it in a much better fashion if you had faced any failed relationship ever in your life. Loneliness engulfs these people also.

Needless to mention the case of the aged parents, who is not staying with their children, but staying with their spouse or alone back at home!  Their plight is, well documented and attracts the constant attention of the media. They breathe, eat and sleep loneliness.

 On the above perspective, think, how loneliness might have crept into their life and haunting them like never before! Don’t do you agree that it is high time that they need help and you should draw up an action plan to follow?  An action plan that list ways to alleviate their loneliness first, of course!

Suggested Solution: #1

Think of forming clubs for your aged parents along with like minded people in your locality. You can take the initiative by convincing them about the idea of the club, its formation, how it should work, etc. The idea of the club is to engage them with like minded people so that they get energized. It is not necessary that you need a club house for that purpose. If it is available, it is well and good. Otherwise, you can ask them to assemble at a mutually convenient place or in each member’s residence, in turn.

 It is also a good idea to engage the club in social work, preferably, under the guidance of a trained social worker, so that their domain experience can be used for the betterment of the society. You can approach nearby hospitals, clinics, clinical labs, pharmacies, other service providers to the aged for a tie-up for their services. Also, arrangement for ambulance services can be fixed in-advance, in the event of an unexpected hospitalization.

Bed-ridden people deserve more sympathy. It is suggested that they are also invited to join the club without their physical presence at meetings held away from their home, which should be compensated by frequent meetings at their place, if situation permits, followed by frequent visits by the members to them, so that they will get relieved emotionally to a great extent in the presence of like minded others.

Counseling can be offered to the club members, which is very much required if a person is senile, or suffering from life-threatening diseases.

Offer the services of preachers to improve their spiritual life progress.