Help for Looking after your old parents of India

BACKGROUND

Looking after aged parents living in India or parents living abroad with their children requires lot of effort from the family members, since the longevity has increased in recent years. Longevity has increased due to many reasons. The main reasons are:

1. Advancement in the medical science, 2. Increase in income, 3. Progress the state has achieved in public health care, 4. The state of the art health care facilities, that are, available at the private sector hospitals, 5. Availability of affordable health insurance in the country, 6. Availability of latest life saving drugs in the country, 7. Increased awareness about health, etc.

On these background it can be safely assumed that the longevity is tend to increase further in the coming years. Since, the joint family system is no more and nuclear family is the norm of the day, to look after their aged parents, Indians need out of the box solutions.

A large number of Indians are expats who are living abroad with their families, with or without their parents with them, where medical expenses are very high. Medical expenses in India are very competitive. This has resulted in so many foreigners coming to India for treatment. Tourism industry is also benefitting out of it. And even medical tourism exists. That being the case, one is poised to ask: “If you are an expat with your parent/s with you, being always on a hectic schedule, negating the most cost effective and highly competent,  health care facility available here?”

The problems faced by the parents of expats living in India are many-fold. They spent considerable amount of their life-time and money on bringing up their children. After completing their education the children used to migrate to greener pastures of developed countries or middle-east to make a living as well as to enjoy the good standard of living and earning potential these countries offer. Getting a decent job in many Indian states is very difficult and this forces a vast majority of people in this states to relocate to other states of India, in search of a job and tend to settle there, eventually. In this case also parents are left behind mostly. Others move out of the state to other parts of India for starting businesses, since they feel that business environment in many states is not that healthy also settle there. They can take their parents with them to their work place, if their parents are willing to relocate. The most troubled people are those who are forced to stay back in leaving their children, by their own decision or circumstances. They have to depend on others even to get even small things get done.

In all these cases parents will have to suffer mental agony. Most of these parents are born, brought up and were settled in places of their occupation or native place before their children moved out of the state or country. Even if the parents are living with their children in other parts of the country or the world, most of them prefer to stay back where they used to, if the situation permits! The children should understand and respect the feelings of their parents.

There are many instances where all children of a couple are settled or working abroad. Some parents prefer to go abroad and live with their children, while others prefer the relaxed living of a retired person in the state itself. Parents who have gone with their children to live abroad may face isolation from the society which is having a different kind of value system and belief, contrary to that of them. This cultural-shock may force them to become depressed, which goes undetected in most cases leads to the deterioration of physical health of the concerned. Moreover the parents of the expats, who decide to live with their children abroad has to face many hurdles to settle in the country they have landed. The main is travelling. You need to understand and undergo a U-turn of your driving habits which you are used to. Then you need to learn different skill sets in every sphere of your driving skills. You need to learn to, read maps, GPS to name a few. This learning process can make them restless, since it is believed in this part of the world that learning skills go down as you become old. Some may need to learn a new language which is the spoken language in that country. This requires time, application of mind and motivation to learn a new language or accent/s which is the first litmus test waiting for the parents of expats who moved along with their children abroad. This can be a frustrating experience for many. Another grey area is travelling alone. They have to learn to travel by a new way. Initially they may find it difficult to settle in the society which is upholding different value systems. These factors coupled with the untimely demise of a life partner may force him/her to make a comeback and they need care from trusted ones.